Many people are actually controlled by their emotions. Just consider that for a second. If you are controlled by your emotions, are you ever fully in control? Can you say to a family member that relies on you “I’ll be there for you in hard times” and one day you don’t know how to control emotions within you, then you might not fulfil that promise? If you feel angry and you physically or verbally lash out, you were not in control at that point if you regret it immediately. If you were in control you would not have took that action. What then was in control? You were letting your emotions run through you and your autopilot habits took over. This is acting out of conditioning which is the old level of consciousness that humans are leaving. The new one is free from emotional bondage.

Emotional control paradoxically comes from first letting yourself become vulnerable to your emotions and accepting them. So many people deny their emotions and resist them. Resistance always causes an object to become stronger. Once you accept and make yourself vulnerable to an emotion it is allowed to flow through the wall of resistance that you have created and learning how to control emotions is found in this surrender. This sounds abstract, and it is, but you just have to experience this rather than listen to it explained. When an emotion comes to you just sit and be with it. Don’t judge it, just recognise it and it’s released from your system along with its past.

There is a you observing the emotions and the emotions themselves. When you do not deeply realise this simple truth then when an emotion arises, you become it. You get a raise at work, you become happy, you become the raise. As that happiness goes you try and get it back because it felt so blissful, as the raise goes, you have attached yourself to the raise and the emotional feelings that accompanied it. This is why you feel so under attack when things go wrong. You have duped yourself into thinking you are dying.

How to Control Emotions: The System

The that this works always follows a similar pattern which is:

• Recognition/Awakening
• Acceptance
• Meaning
• Observation
• Release

RAMOR! Sounds like an evil Aries noodle monster or something. (Ramen Noodles. Aries is a Ram … Ah screw it … my humour is wasted on you guys!).

Let’s go into them a little further shall we?

• Recognition/Awakening – This is where you realise that you have been under and have been controlled by your emotions. This the most critical step. If you stay unconscious to the emotions ruling and running your life then the other 3 steps are impossible. You will all of a sudden realise “This isn’t me, I’m getting emotionally controlled here”.

• Acceptance – The first step that seems logical is to get angry that you are experiencing negative emotions. Darkness cannot bring light to darkness! Watch your mind trying to get angry and just accept this. Accept that this emotion is here right now and is in your system. It is unconsciousness trying to come out of you which is a good thing.

• Meaning – Emotions arise within you to bring your attention to important things like reminding you to be compassionate. Note what the emotion is telling you to do and ask how would your higher self deal with this? Resolve to take action in the next 24 hours. The emotion is now ready to be released.

• Observation – Now you have recognised and accepted the emotion is there, observe it, partially. When you’re done or if it is not important then just observe how the emotion makes you feel physically and what it does to you mentally. Notice the subtle links between the two. Make it your aim to be as alert as possible as if a burglar has entered your home and you are trying to sense him with all sense. Just feel your body as a field, what area is claiming your attention. Give it your non judging attention.

If you do not do this the emotion will stay clogged in your system and leave behind a residue of sorts which will clog up your being. Also, acceptance is important in this step as you must just keep observing the emotion is out of your system and peace is returned, it can be a tough process but keep reminding yourself to accept what is. This step of observation also brings in the critical noticing that you are not your emotions, body or mind but are in fact observing them. This step will take the longest.

• Release – When you keep accepting the emotion has served its purpose and is heading out of your inner energy system. You will know it had gone when you no longer feel its pulls and you feel a calm inside of you. This is the final step.

Asking how long this will take is like asking how long a piece of string is. It depends on experience, what emotion it is, the person in question etc. All I know is you will get better and more efficient at this process the more you do it.

Practical Techniques

If you feel a strong urge to do something that you know your better self would not do catch yourself doing it. Just keep watching the bodily sensations, the thoughts that accompany it etc and take no action. Eventually things will die down and you will be able to choose the better course with your clear, still and focused mind. It becomes easier with practice.

Emotions arise within you as a physical reaction to your mind. You can tell by someones body what emotions and what state of mind they are in. This also can work in reverse. If you want to feel extremely confident, then change your body posture to standing up tall, looking at the ceiling and smiling. It is impossible to feel terrible when you do this I tell you. This is more of a short term thing to give you an instant boost than a long term fix where real control is gained but it can work if you are about to ask someone out or make a speech for example.

Sit and see what arises. Do not go too deep though as going into your emotions of the past is never ending. This is just to show you how the technique works. Watch your mind and when a thought arises and you get taken by that thought into its little world when you come back to presence from it, see what it has done to your body and mind. Feel that you were not there and it is a scary feeling, kind of as if you were sleeping.

When you start doing this you will start to notice just how unawakened you have been in your life before you learned how to control emotions. When thoughts and emotions are consuming you and you suddenly wake up into observation it starts to feel like you literally have woken up from a dream, the sensation is incredible. The whole of reality changes that moment.

You can literally do this at any time. It only takes one second to look inside and become aware of your emotional state. In a queue, in your silent moments make it a habit to look inside and ask “How do I feel now?”.